Live Your Truth

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-By Jontae Grace

As my ratchetness has grown and matured, my shame about it has all but disappeared. My personal dalliances might surprise some, but anyone who really knows me will tell you that I’m really with the shit, in several ways. Or was. Or might still be, depending on what that mouf do.

Point is, once you’ve done things that you know you’ll have to answer for, over the invisible line drawn by your conscience, you become less judgmental. It’s funny how people with the most dirt on them are more accepting. Once you’ve looked down, nose froze, at a brown angel talking to your lap without words, designer drugs everywhere, and thought, “this is obscene. But this is everything,” you cross a threshold of moral behavior. After a few more trips down the rabbit’s holes, you tend not to judge anyone about anything. Do what you want to do, just don’t hurt anyone, and make sure to handle your business.

Society would have you hide from the things it frowns upon, and as a result, we spend years building an image slightly off-center from reality. But I own my shit, and I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve paid dearly for many of the liberties that I’ve taken. And my current blessings have grown from many of the mistakes I made in my stupidity. That is why today’s message will be to own your shit, live in your truth, and deal with others the way you really are. We know what type of lover we are, and what type of loving we need. It is time to seek it and demand it, and not accept anything less than it.

At this age, I assume that everyone is into something weird, both sexually and mentally. I think that around our late twenties, we start living more fully in our truths, and those quirks that we keep cleverly hidden find a way out. Put simply, what we want for ourselves becomes more important than how we are perceived by others. We are less afraid to show people who we really are, because we hope that they accept it, and more importantly, have that side of themselves as well.

I think one reason why we attract the wrong people is because we are not showing our true selves up front, and so we are attracting what we portray, not what we truly are. We wear a mask early on, and put on our best faces when courting mates. The idea is to baby-step them into our craziness, so that we don’t scare them away. I understand it, but sometimes we want things to succeed so bad that we go along with things that we normally don’t accept. Or we hide parts of ourselves that are very much central to our being.

That so prosaic a thing as self-honesty can change the quality of our relationships, is laughable. It can’t be that simple, can it? The answer is a resounding “Yeah Hoe,“ and I’ll tell you why.

Once we start living our truths, our standards and requirements change. We begin to deal with people from our core being, and most importantly, we will not be afraid to discontinue the courtship if we decide that the two mixes don’t match. This is perhaps the biggest revelation you’ll notice: that many of us continue talking to/romping around with people who we know aren’t on the same page, simply because it’s a good-ass book.

If you would have given him or her notice that you are only interested in a path that would lead to a relationship, you’d have a much better chance of filtering out people who aren’t seeking it. Or, if you are like me and want to be a hoe for the summer, you’d be surprised how often people will agree to be handcuff-free, so long as you let it be known. Of course, there are people who will fake like they agree to your terms, when their intentions are very different. It’s not wholly unavoidable.

Some people are mysteries, and you won’t know what their true motives are until you get involved with em. Sometimes, the only way to find out is to find out. But living in your truth will give you a much higher chance to attract someone with the same intentions you have. And as we all know, intention is one of the three most important parts of a successful relationship, along with attraction and timing. You both must want the same things in life and love, otherwise, the other two points of the triangle don’t matter. As for me, my summer started this week.



15 Comments Add yours

  1. kelley says:

    Ah, this is great, Jontae! Honesty about intent is so so so very important to me.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you Kelley! It cuts out soo much extra. Much love!

      1. kelley says:

        It really does. I had to link back to this post on my latest. Nothing but the truth!

      2. Jontae Grace says:

        Thank you soo much! That means a lot to me. The creators will inherit the eARTh 🙂 lets keep putting out goodness

  2. Artesia says:

    Very true. Honesty is everything! Even when we don’t want to hear it, we can always appreciate it.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you so much for reading, Artesia! Ive had to grow thick skin in the past three years, because im a Super Cancer and i would get in my feeling quick lol. But I’ve learned that when it comes from a place of love, you can’t help but appreciate it. Its for the betterment of the friendship/relationship. Much love!

  3. K E Garland says:

    That is one of my mantras: Be yourself! Life’s so much easier when we are.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      So true! Sometimes its easier said then done, but I think everybody reaches a point where they dont care anymore. Thank you so much for reading! Blessings

  4. I agree that most ppl don’t reveal their true selves until mid to late twenties. At least that’s been the case for myself and I’m still learning to be me. It takes us a while to get to know ourselves and more time to be okay with revealing ourselves.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you for reading! I am also stepping into my truth more and more, it is a long process, and I think there are certain experiences that we must go through before we get there. Peace and Blessings!

  5. e says:

    Love. Love. LOVE: “I think one reason why we attract the wrong people is because we are not showing our true selves up front, and so we are attracting what we portray, not what we truly are”.


  6. blessthecrown says:

    I love this post! At 25 I’m just coming into this point in my growth. I appreciate every word you wrote.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you very much for reading! You are very much ahead of where I was, and you should be very proud of that. Stay focused, only accept the love that you deserve, and watch your greatest years be ahead of you! Much love Queen 🙂

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