By Jontae Grace
I wish we could see the worst in people first, not the best. I’d much rather see the low end of their spectrum, to better understand what I’m in for. But we wear our best faces in the beginning, easing them into our craziness like a well-intentioned spiderweb. And the end result is always the same.
I’m no exception. Women love my good side. But the more “me” comes out, the further south we go. I’m not always at fault…but I’m usually 51% at fault. I can’t help it; once the walls come down, you get sugar AND vinegar. I have layers, complexities and eccentricities like everyone else. Some can accept it, some can’t, and leave.
But here’s the thing: I can’t leave me.
I can’t wake up and say, “I don’t think this is going to work for me anymore, self. I’m leaving you.” I have to ride this thing out, for better or worse. And I need someone who’s going to view me, like I view me. Someone whose commitment is so strong that leaving is not an option. Good, bad or ugly, we’re going home together. We’ll discuss the problem in the car. It’s not a license to behave wrongly; it’s an understanding that mistakes will be made, and we have to allow for them.
That is why men say that they want someone like their mom. Allow me to explain further, because the feminazis went HAM over this. When men say they want a woman like their mom, it isn’t some twisted attraction to their birth mother. What he is really saying is that he wants a woman who will never leave him, never forsake him, and love him through his mistakes. THATS where the comparison begins and ends. A man could go to jail for twenty years, commit the most horrible mistakes, lose everything, and show up at his moms house for a plate and place to stay. That’s love.
Nowadays we are too quick to leave each other. Which shows that we don’t truly love one another. If you can’t love them THROUGH their mistakes – the way his or her mom does – then it’s not real love.
When you choose a mate, you are choosing a set of behaviors, and life’s circumstances will bring out each one. There is a low end, and a high. If you’ve ever wondered what happened to the person you fell in love with, they’re still there, but now you’re seeing the forest instead of a lone tree.
I think that everyone should forgive one unforgivable offense in a relationship. Because all of us have, at some point, committed an unforgivable offense. Could you imagine where we’d be if we received punishment equal to our deeds? I’d be UNDER hell. If life is not perfect, then love won’t be either. But if you survive the night, the sun will rise again.
Sometimes, you have to be Camille Cosby. Right, wrong or dead wrong, commit to something more than yourself. You’d want someone to do the same for you.