Can Men and Women ‘Just Be Friends’?

Question of The Day: Can men and women ‘just be friends’?

I personally CANNOT be friends with a woman. Every time it has happened in my past, there was some element of attraction/lust/love between us (from me, from her or mutual). I have to keep a safe distance. I can be social, but not too close.

I also think that it can be unhealthy, especially in marriages and long-term relationships to have REALLY close friends of the opposite sex. It always made me uncomfortable, and I think that at some point in your relationship, you have to distance yourself from ‘brothers’ ‘best friends’ and ‘like-a-cousins’.

You know what they say: “A Shoulder to Cry On, Becomes a D— to Ride On”. When problems happen in a relationship, people tend to confide in those individuals closest to them. And we all know that the line between comfort and intimate gets blurred when a person is emotionally vulnerable (male or female). I prefer to keep my problems in-house, sharing them only with my mate, or my family. Some people are listening to your issues-not to help-but to identify gaps in which they might insert themselves. You never know nowadays.

I realize that nowadays, social and romantic relationships are much more modern and less traditional, and people DO genuinely have platonic friendships with people whom they have no attraction to. But knowing myself, it’s not for me. And hopefully, it’s not for my long-term life partner either.

Grace

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Johnetta says:

    I love this question. I love the reaction I see from both men and women . I myself could never be ok with my spouse having a close relationship with another woman outside of his blood family. That’s just me. I could never be #1 . . I have to be the only one.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting Miss Johnetta! And I agree. A grownup relationship is definitely Me and You and no one else lmao

  2. To Each His/Her Own; I can be “just Friends” with a Woman-even if there IS some sort of chemistry in existence. there’s a thing called Will power and not enough folks of both genders acknowledge or admit to not using it. I still am friends with a few of my Exes; most have Kids and a few are married and their husbands know about me and of me. I don’t communicate with them but once in a blue moon and never do we talk about the Past.

    I also do understand about keeping problems with a relationship in-house, but what I’ve found out and realized growng up is that One Person’s “Couple Privacy” is another’s “Alenating a S/O from Friends and Family.” I also don’t believe a Confidant of the Opposite Sex= a Threat PER SE; it is up to that Friend and the S/O to respect the elationship and not cross lines. I’m extremely Private but if I do have a problem that can’t be solved by constanty clashing with my S/O I MIGHT ask a Female Friend (because I can’t ask a Guy about Women) or a Close Relative. Not Every Relationship is the Same, and sometimes it’s good to seek Advice or a Lecture from Somebody who KNOWS you rather than a Total Stranger that while Objective, doesn’t know the Dynamics or Situation….

    All in All, Great Post

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks for reading and giving us another perspective Bro! You are absolutely right: some people CAN be just friends, and they shouldn’t be punished or side-eyed by the people who CAN’T. That is why it is so important to know oneself, and also know the people they’re involved with. Peace and blessings man!

    2. Gray says:

      I wholeheartedly agree with your perspective. I have a few male friends to whom I’d never cross the line with. When they have had issues in the past, or was confused about an argument, they’ve posed the situation to me and I’ve tried my best to offer them the female perspective in which they refused to acknowledge. Most often we’re too fixated on being right that we ignore our mate, seeking only a cosign. They’ve told me I’ve helped them tremendously. Their women know of my existence, and their is nothing to be hidden nor do we act awkwardly in each others presence. We are always…always, respectful.

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