Beware of Boredom: Avoiding Relationship Slumps

By Jontae Grace

All of man’s toil and labor is done to build an illusion of safety in an uncertain life. Danger is one of the first senses we learn, and we spend our natural lives seeking to prevent it. So we move to safer areas, wear seatbelts, and find mates who will shepherd us through life with as little discomfort as possible.

The irony is that after building this protection for ourselves, we sometimes get bored with the comfort and begin seeking new – and riskier – stimulation. We gossip at work, drive faster in traffic, and engage in meaningless arguments at home. For whatever reason, boredom sets in and can cause you to rock the boat in calm waters. But if your relationship is worth saving, you must learn how to breathe life into it.

The first thing you must do is evaluate whether you are growing bored or growing apart. This is perhaps the hardest distinction to make, because you must decide whether you are being unreasonable or genuinely neglected. It requires keen observation and honest self-reflection. As you consider your feelings and the status of your relationship, look for patterns that may hint at a deeper issue. Emotional malnourishment often goes unnoticed until a major issue occurs, but you may be able to spot a trend early on.

Some people are not relationship types. They bore easily, and will fuck up a perfectly good home simply because it is more entertaining than a perfect arrangement. They thrive on action, and love to play Jenga with their lives and the ones they’re involved with. You cannot build with an individual who thrives on chaos and destruction, and you must take a hard look at your relationship to determine whether you’re building on quicksand.

If, after careful thought, your relationship is worth saving, you must refocus on the blessings that stem from it. As time passes, we tend to focus more on what we don’t have, and take for granted what we have. Remember that no blessing is a given; it is not your God-given right to demand that your mate checks a box on an imaginary list. You must accept them for what they are, what they’re not, and what they wish to be.

You can, however, set new goals for the direction of your journey. We all want to see growth in our lives, and our loves. It is not unreasonable to encourage yourself and your mate step up, as natural progression is a key element to satisfaction. Just ensure that your desires are positive, realistic, and in tune with the vision your mate has for their own life. You cannot make someone want what you want. But if they want it as well, they will run the race with you.

So, beware of boredom, that most natural of human feelings. It can be a sign that your passion needs to be renewed, or signal a rift in a once-close bond. Your garden must be continually fed, watered and maintained, and you are not wrong for wanting a certain level of treatment from your relationship. We all have expectations, goals and desires that we seek to satisfy when we look for a partner. But boredom can make a person take risky chances that lead to losing outcomes. When a person begins to view a blessing as a birthright, The Almighty has an interesting way of reminding them how easily it can be taken away.

Grace

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. YB says:

    That’s some righteous writing Good Man.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks Bro! I appreciate you reading and showing love! Stay UP
      Sincerely,

      Jontae Grace

      http://jontaegrace.com

      http://www.singleblackmale.org/author/mr-grace

      http://www.facebook.com/my02cents

      http://www.twitter.com/my-02cents

      Google Play Store (Free App): My $0.02

  2. Just Peachy! says:

    This post was spot on. Loved that 1st & 4th paragraph Great advice for the wandering mind & souls out there!

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks so much for reading Miss Peachy!!!

  3. amber says:

    SO on point! I love the expression that some people love playing Jenga with their lives but also love the comfort of having a false sense of security as well. Great piece!

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks for reading Miss Amber! I really appreciate you!

  4. Anastasia says:

    I see a lot of interesting articles on your blog. You have to
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    you a lot of work, there is a tool that creates unique, google friendly posts
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  5. You know what’s interesting? Many people will not admit that they are experiencing boredom or hitting a stagnant patch in their relationship. And if the issue is brought up, the partner on the receiving end of the news becomes defensive and the conversation does not progress positively. If both mates would be honest and open with themselves and each other they may both realize that boredom is something that they are both dealing with.

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