The Ex Factor: How to Pick Your Next Mate

-By Jontae Grace

Most of us have at least one cringe-worthy skeleton in our closet. But have you ever had an ex who makes you congratulate yourself for your excellent standards? You know, the “she was hella fine, had money, and I used to BEAT THE BREAKS OFF that ting” type of ex? I have, because I started picking my women based off the type of ex she will look like, rather than the fun she appears to be in the moment. And from this day forward, I challenge you to draft for your franchise, not the upcoming season. By doing so, you will actually attract increasingly better talent as time goes on.

At some point during every courtship, you two are going to broach the subject of exes. This is inevitable, because both of you want to know what the other one likes, and there is no better indicator than looking at the types that have come before you. This can actually work in your favor if your past flames are high quality. A strong ex can make you look like royalty; you can’t attract a true queen messing with peasants. Before she decides to upgrade you, she wants to know whether you wife tramps or pursue Empresses.

When I talk to a potential about my exes, I find myself speaking so highly of them that I get asked, “so why yall break up?” They were all amazing women, physically stunning, intellectually inclined and professionally accomplished. It’s hard to explain that I care more about the vibe than how we look as a couple. Nowadays, everyone is so visual and superficial that it sounds almost cheesy when I explain that there are more important qualities to me than how photogenic we were. The single most important quality to me – is finding a star player who is also a TEAM player. I can find any girl to swallow and throw it back; I’m looking for one who will shepherd me through life with as many smiles as possible, and so should you.

If a woman had to view a slideshow of all your exes, complete with Street-Fighter type attributes ranking intellectual and professional prowess, is she going to be repulsed or respectful? You want each new mate to one-up the last one, just like a job. Because that’s exactly what exes are: a resume of your romantic/sexual history. Your prospective employer is going to evaluate your skills based upon the caliber of mate you’ve “worked” previously. And this isn’t some distended metaphor, this is really how we determine value in the 2KTeens. It’s not a perfect indicator, but it is an accurate gauge.

At the end of the day, you must start being more concerned with your legacy, not a fleeting desire. And as time passes, and each man has his moment on earth, the one thing that has never changed is this: the type of woman that you choose can be your crown or your downfall in life. Your mate is your mirror, and you cannot be a Boss and be seriously involved with ratchet-@$$ women. So be smart, and pick em as if you’re already looking back on her, not her looking back as she throws it.

Ex Factor


8 Comments Add yours

  1. Charlene says:

    Love it. I have read almost everything you put up.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks Queen! I really appreciate the love : )

  2. Just Peachy! says:

    A lot of people don’t think about their legacy much less the person’s that they deal with reputation . They are so in the moment they don’t see the failure or potential in relationships. So consumed with that instant gratification. Nice read.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      You are so right! The one drawback to being young is that we think its gonna last forever, and we live as though we will always be able to get a woman/man. I try to tell my homies that they need to start picking a good woman to be their one and only, but in the back of their minds they still have a few good player years left in them before they start considering that. And thats unfortunate for them.

      Thank you so much for your support of my work! I sincerely appreciate it, and it makes me work harder to give you good material to enjoy. Peace and Blessings Queen : )

  3. Flobody says:

    This is truly an interesting perspective , I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the subject.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you Queen! I try to give readers a unique perspective to consider life and love, from a young Black Male of our generation. Thanks again for reading 🙂

      1. Flobody says:

        I look forward to reading more from you! Be Blessed.

  4. Mr. Deloney says:

    Great work once again Jontae! I appreciate you taking the time to share this!

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