Relationship Gumbo

Random musings with a specific purpose, by Mr. Grace.

Lately, it is becoming increasingly apparent that real success in love is about how good of a TEAM you and your mate are, how well you operate as one and share the same mind. At times, the hardest thing in the world is finding a partner who speaks the same language as you. Some women claim to speak English, but they only understand Dinglish; and despite being the first word they learned, many men still don’t respond to “No”. But it goes deeper than that – you need someone in your life whose words mean the same out loud as they mean in your head. Disconnects in relationships happen because we are speaking two different languages without even knowing. And if you two dont share the same tongue, you are going to have to develop a thorough understanding of one another, so that you are not sitting there at 2AM wondering if this nigga really did text what he just texted – and had the nerve to put an “LOL” on the end, as if that softens it.
***
You want to give yourself enough time to detox properly from an ex.  At the very least, give yourself a one month window to help flush out the toxins that remain from the past. Why? Fuck em, right? Wrong. That ex is still attached to your name and your life, he/she still has been your mirror image because you chose them as your representative. A person does not stop being linked to you once the relationship ends; rather, they tend to serve as a resume for your sexual and romantic history, detailing the type of job you last “worked”. There is no use tryna omit listings, even if a person can’t see your Vagfax, a discerning mind can look at your character clues and see what type you go for, and have gone for. When performing a background check, your potential wants to know what caliber of person you’ve messed with; if you won’t discuss it, they will inquire on their own. And if you part ways with your employer, your next job will not appreciate you trashing your history. It truly reflects more on you than anything.
***
Everyone is running around searching for an oasis, defined by a warped criteria. Niggas want a forever-young stallion – rather, several forever-young stallions, all of whom funnel their sexual energy to him only. He wants to live the lifestyle of a Playboy, in part because of his ancient African heritage, mixed with distorted images absorbed from the wrong entertainment sources. Women want some kind of everynigga: one who is capable of morphing into whatever her current desire happens to be, no matter how unrealistic and contridictory.

Many women are one step from auctioning their wombs for an engagement band and a Porsche Panamera S. Guided by sight and appearance, she neglects the fundamental truth that an item bought become the property of its owner. Then she struggles against her newfound captivity, growing to resent her buyer, thinking that she could extract a man’s resources without having to give him ANY service. Good luck with that.
***
Users only want a piece of you – either your conversation, your affection/attention, or sex– but they dont want all of you. Believe me when I say that this happens to all of us, female and male. Sometimes a person will throw a wrench in it by requesting something that most men don’t, like friendship. But for all intents and purposes, he might as well have just asked you to smash because he is saying that he wants a piece of you (in this case, your company) but not all of you. IMO, this issue is unisex, and you dont need to deal with him or anyone else like him unless you both want the same thing. There is nothing wrong with just wanting sex or just wanting a platonic friend. The problem is when two people want two different things, but they entertain each other anyway.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Nya Monea says:

    Your right about that speaking the same language. This week I struggled to find the words on a post similar .. well being about love and relationships. I concur… your speaking my language here on this one. In addition… I love the metaphor. The emotional toxins,.. right..

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thanks Nya! It’s so frustrating lol. But we have to pay attention to figure it out. Peace and blessings to you : )

  2. Just Peachy! says:

    Love that last paragraph- it summed everything up about relationships in general for both men and women. The trick being is that you have to recognize what you are and what they may portray to be and act accordingly. Don’t waste precious time on someone when you know they don’t have your best interest at heart cause your only setting yourself up. This also applies to friendships and family as well. Great post.

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