(Before My $0.02 was established in 2011, I wrote directly from Facebook. The following is a never-before posted article for your reading pleasure.)
-By Jontae Grace
Pull out your list of requirements and unroll it. Go get the addendum from under the mattress, I’ll wait. Alphabetize it, double-space and put a ream of paper in the printer. CTRL+P it. Now once you replace the ink cartridge and staple your book of standards together, come put it underneath the leg of this wobbly-ass desk. Because that’s all it’s good for.
Next, make an appointment to see Doctor J. Alexander Conrad-Murray Grace, the optometrist. Don’t worry, he’s licensed and Board-Certified. Tell him you have tunnel vision, and you are missing opportunities because of it. After a brief interview, he’ll prescribe you a set of Holistic Glasses. For our purposes, allow me to explain these corrective lenses.
The word “holistic” is derived from the Greek holos, which means whole, complete or all. It is also the philosophy that the whole is greater than its parts. So when we wear our Holistic Glasses, we are able to see the strength of the entire person, rather than the individual weaknesses that are part of them.
If you’ve ever looked at a couple and thought, “how can he/she mess with HER/HIM?!” then you need Holistic Glasses. Once you start seeing how happy they are together, posting pics of them cupcaking, then you feel that “why not me?” twinge in your abdomen. Some of us are proactive when it comes to love, and we don’t wait for social approval before deciding if someone is right for us. Others care too much about how they are viewed as a couple, and so they only date people to keep up appearances. This is one reason why some women be wanting other women’s men, because they figure, “If she’s with him, then he must have something I didn’t see,” Of course, a person’s beauty is one of the first things we notice, but if you can’t go anywhere without putting your makeup/hair/outfit on, you are one-dimensional and need to balance your assets.
Many of you start the race with one leg because you don’t see the whole person. He gotta be six feet. He gotta be kid-free. She can’t have a gag-reflex all of this stuff narrows your heart’s vision, and every requirement you add on makes you more blind. Realize that a “type” is not a requirement, it’s a restriction: ON YOU. It doesn’t hurt the pursuer in the long-run, because they avoid getting involved in a shallow pool of a mate. The good ones keep it moving because we know we got something to offer somebody. Our pride heals faster than our hearts, so we’re just thankful that it didn’t get to that point.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t have standards. After all, a crackhead can’t really give you financial advice, and a working girl isn’t the best mother-figure for your daughter. But what happens is we get our standards confused with our ideal qualities, and end up disqualifying people who don’t fit the ideal. You think you need steak to live, until you find out that rice is better for you. Time and time again we try to aim high when we’re single, but we use the wrong criteria on what exactly “high” quality is. Just remember: standards are non-negotiable. Ideals are bendable. Some women think I’m too hairy down there; others like it, and braid it. For some, that’s non-negotiable, and for others it’s braidable…I mean, bendable : )
Any woman who has gotten to a certain point with me has heard me say, “I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” I live by that philosophy, because I have struck out before the pitch was thrown and I’ve also wrongfully terminated a few employees myself. I know how it feels to be told that you’re too A-B-C and not enough X-Y-Z. You live and learn, but I’ve never wished misery on an old flame if we didn’t work out. I always hoped that they found the qualities they say they weren’t getting enough of from me.
Have you had your eyes checked lately?
Click here to download this article to your phone, tablet or PC!