500 Words of Reflection

So, today is my twenty-sixth birthday. I have spent most of the day reflecting, counting blessings and planning to make it a good year ahead. In doing so, I’ve been taking inventory of my life, with a careful eye on what qualities need to be replenished.

Self-examination is one of the most productive things you can do. You have to know your tendencies so that you know what situations to seek and avoid. I am a Cancer. I am an extremist. When I commit to something, I give it my all, good or bad. I don’t know how to live in the middle. I see the value of balance, but my scales are always tipped in one direction or another. I don’t try to change my nature; I accept it for what it is and learn how to leverage it in my favor.

24 and 25 were very hard years, and showed me just how far gone I can get if I don’t harness my energy. I was financially and morally bankrupt, and no help to anyone. I had gone from college graduation in June to fatherhood in September, and my life just punched the gas and got away from me. Though I was an active participant in my own decline, at times it felt as if I was watching a live demonstration of what NOT to do, ever again.

Looking back, I believe that it was a necessary lesson that needed to be learned hands-on. Being the youngest, I often learned lessons through the mistakes of my brothers without having to experience the same mistakes myself. That helped for several years, but at some point in your life you have to fall down and bite the dust yourself in order to grow. Can’t say I enjoyed it very much, but I definitely see the value in the experience. The best part is, I made it out unscathed.

So far, 2012 has been very fruitful. I have a good job with benefits, and 670 square feet of my own dominion in which I can walk around ass naked in – by myself or with company. Money is made and bills are paid. I have a purpose now, which I now understand. I think a person with no purpose can be the most dangerous type of individual you can meet, because they have nothing to keep their impulses in check. I once allowed myself to be led by my impulse; I liked it at night and paid for it in the morning. But you live and you learn.

I would like to thank everyone who has ever taken the time to send me positive energy, on Facebook or WordPress. You all have no idea your impact on my life. I have been blessed with brilliant individuals in my life, from intellects to professionals to just great human beings. I draw inspiration from all of you, and I will do my best to not waste my time or anyone else.

500 words even.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. serenityluv1 says:

    I enjoyed this post, felt as though I was reading one of the chapters in my life.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who has gone through it : )

  2. Happy Birthday Jontae. have a blessed day.

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thank you Miss Sherline! Much Love : )

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