Be a Victim, or a Victor.

Every privilege, every luxury that you can think of is someone’s reality. So technically, every privilege can be your reality. Your mind creates your circumstances; an outcome is the product of an action, which in turn is a product of a thought. So then, it is a matter of choosing what you want for your life, researching what it takes to get it, then positioning yourself to attain it. Simple, right?

Wrong. Your work actually begins after you get to wherever you’re going. So you got into the door of that new car, swanky job or flawless woman; what are you going to do with it? What objects are you gonna fill that house with? More importantly, what principles are you gonna fill that WOMAN with?

The biggest hurdle for most people isn’t obtaining a goal; it’s maintaining that goal. Those are two totally different concepts which require different skills in order to accomplish. We have all had items (or people) in our lives that we simply did not take good care of, and eventually lost. That is partly because we focused so much on what we wanted that we forgot to learn what to do after we got it. You might can buy the house, the car, and the woman; but the upkeep of that accomplishment is what will make you or break you.

Shallow men and women spend most of their energy and resources up front on their delivery and pitch. Cars, rims, shoes, Hermes Birkin bags,  the focus is so front-loaded that they have little or nothing of substance to offer on the back end: the relationship. Their preparation centers on the chase, not the catch. No plan for the morning after, no vision for the future of them and their newly acquired asset. They don’t know how to take it to the next level because they never prepared for it. In fact, they’re scared of it.

Smart people prepare for the extended journey, which they understand will lead to the luxuries that everyone is so desperate to Instagram these days. Sure, I have the same desires for shoes, clothes and cars as the next man – probably more so, because I have expensive taste – but I understand that a person can either view those trinkets as their main goal, or as a by-product of pursuing their main goal.

It’s very simple to me. I know what I like, and what I want in my life. I think about it every day. I visualize how to attain and maintain the items on my list. A little homework at a time on the subject, enough to absorb at an effective pace. With those goals in the front of my mind every day, my mind is already making unconscious choices that move me toward them. I begin to see life through the lens of my most important objectives, and I start to think, speak and act in ways that contribute to those desires – either directly or indirectly.

Equally as important, I begin pruning people out of my circle that don’t have the same will to shape their own lives as I do. We all know at least one ‘woe is me’ person: the hard-luck, never-catch-a-break type who feels like everything bad always happens to them. They think and speak as powerless beings, helpless against the winds of life. And you know what? They end up attracting those negative experiences toward them by their dismal outlook. As much as I sympathize for them, I cannot empathize with them, for that requires that I adopt their mindstate. These types of people are the ‘whatever happens, happens’ thinkers. I, on the other hand, am more of a ‘whatever I MAKE happen, happens’ kinda person.

For a long time, I struggled to reconcile the concepts of individual free will to shape my own life, and an omnipotent higher power who controlled my destiny. Everything I had learned about the two suggested it had to be either or. But now I believe that both principles interact with one another in varying degrees at different periods. Maybe they dance together. But I have concluded that our lives are not entirely outside of our control. We do have a great deal of autonomy in creating the reality that we see everyday.

As such, the most important quality to me is a person’s outlook and reality. I have little or no patience for indecisive, on-the-fence individuals waiting for the universe to bring them fortune. And by extension, the women that I used to pursue who were always unsure if it was the right time to get involved with me get dismissed as well. Youth has a way of making people feel as if they have all the time in the world to wait for the right situation. Everybody waiting to finish school so they can wait to find a good career so they can wait to become successful so they can wait to find a mate so they can wait to marry. But people like me are out here dreaming by day, working to turn the unseen into reality. We understand that one day soon, we will all have lines, years and pounds added to us, and our window of opportunity will have closed. Life is not linear, with one action leading to another, and another. It is concurrent, and you must focus on and build several things at once if you want it to succeed. If she doesn’t understand that, then she wasn’t right for me anyway.

If you want that job, lifestyle, spouse and family, go get it.

If you want someone like us, come and get it. But make sure you know what to do once you have us…

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