We all know that felines and canines do not get along. So why do so many women end up with “dogs”? Are they genetically predisposed to aint-shit males? Also, why do so many good men end up with psycho baby-mamas? Are ALL the fine ones complete nut cases? The answer to both of these questions is an emphatic no, yet the issue remains: how do we sift through the not-worth-its so we can send them to the Moon without oxygen?
The answer is in your ears. The most underrated, slept-on feature of men and women, ears are the all-powerful key to locked doors in life and love. Ears don’t judge, they don’t gossip or lie, they just…absorb. More importantly, your ears will help you avoid some of love’s deepest pitfalls. We have all had some abysmal failures with the opposite sex, but if we trace the experience, the trail usually leads back to us listening to what a person says as opposed to what they mean. Or, maybe we weren’t listening at all.
Ladies, I feel for you. You have been fed a hot bowl of bullshit since childhood about beauty, femininity and the like, but the worst thing has been the Princess Theory. I will not argue whether or not you are the most important part of a man, but I will say that one of the side effects is that you have become a little self-centered with regards to your listening skills. When you are getting to know a guy you’re attracted to, you talk a little too much about yourself without learning enough about him. This is how you end up finding out (much later) that he has a child, or is still legally married, albeit separated (or not). I’ve heard some men say that the best way to get a female to sleep with you is to listen to her. That’s whoreble.
You have to get better at getting to know a man you are interested in. The simplest way to do it is to simply ask him to tell you about himself. He will talk- candidly- and when he does, don’t be listening with feigned interest, all the while wondering if his stroke-game is paralyzing. You have to hear him, because it often happens that we give the most important clues to our character up front. That way we can rest assured that we “got it all out there” in case things go south later on and we have to explain ourselves.
What you need to know about men is that for the most part, we are pretty honest. We will give you a straight-up answer on just about anything, provided you do not ask a leading question like “Do I look fat in these?” The way to make a man lie is to ask him a question that has an answer he knows you want to hear. So when he says “I’m not looking for anything serious, but if it goes there it goes there,” disregard that second part. Give him a no-pressure question to answer, and I guarantee he will tell you honestly what he thinks.
You also have to be ready to nix any progress that you might have made if he presents any deal-breakers. This can be the hardest part, because he may be the finest thing you’ve seen since your tax return and you want to at least try to make it work. But know that you can’t change a man who doesn’t want to change, no matter how hard you try. I know that you may feel that there is a scarcity of eligible brothas out there, but there are enough that you shouldn’t have to bend your unbreakables to get him to stay. Stand on your principles; just make sure that they aren’t superficial.
Fellas, what you need to know about a woman who really likes you is that oftentimes she will tell you what you want to hear. If you say you only having fun and don’t want emotions involved, she’s gonna play it off like she agrees, but in the back of her mind she’s fitting you for a wedding tux. It’s a trap! You have to use your listening skills just as hard because some women will say anything to get you stuck with her. And trust me, that 9month-18yr commitment is no joke. You may still think you’re playin a game, but these women out here are so serious about theirs, and will get their goals accomplished any way they can. It’s a sad reality, but I don’t really feel sorry for us anymore. By this age you should have had enough trim that you can focus on the whole woman instead of her vajayjay. It’s time to smarten up, because women BEEN smart and they know how to play the game just as good as you think you do.
Women put more emphasis what a man does; men put more emphasis on what a woman says. For example, if a woman is sleeping with a man who said he just wanted to be friends, eventually feelings will get involved and they will address it. When they do, a man will often say something like, “I told you this when you met me.” A woman will often counter with something like, “You said this, but you been laying up over here and eating all the Golden Grahams. So we go together now.” See how words and actions have varying importance to each gender?
Disconnects happen because we go ahead with our feelings or genitals instead of what our ears tell us is the best course of action. You gotta give your ears the same chance that you give your mouth, because there are so many snakes and fakes out here. Your eyes may lie, your mouth may dig a hole, but your ears will never steer you wrong.
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