Your Mate is a Reflection of YOU.

-By Jontae Grace

I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile, unsure if my message would be overshadowed by my word choice. But knowledge concealed is not knowledge at all, so here it is.

Today and henceforth I am going to challenge my Brothas as well as myself. I want us to begin to use the power we have within to transform a woman’s life for the better. The power of words, thought, speech, and action. But first I will establish a well-known fact: hoes, breezies, raspy’s and other types of chickens are not born. They are made, created by society-a culture in which their value is directly related to her promiscuity. Even though many social and sexual behaviors are learned in the home, they are also formed by a woman’s interaction with the males she encounters on a daily basis.

For this reason, it is important that we become positive forces in our women’s lives. You don’t have to be in a relationship with her, but socially you must realize the impact you can have, even on a female that is considered too far gone. If you could trace her sexual history, you would see that her earliest decisions were made for her- and many times, against her will.

Every male has had at least one female who was willing to do anything for him-be it sexually, financially, or otherwise. I remember how good it felt the first time I had one whose will was in my hands. It felt like kingship, a taste of godliness. It was like a snort of blow, knowing that this young lady would follow me wherever I wanted to go. Unfortunately I was thinking short term, and I only wanted to head to the bedroom. To me it was just a moment in time, but I was most likely reinforcing a custom that would become an unofficial law in her life. As she was removing her clothes, she paused and looked back at me-and back then I couldn’t understand her expression. Now that I think about it, it was like a mixture of longing and confusion. She was not sure she wanted to go all the way with me, but she did want my affection and attention, and there was only one way I was going to give her that. We all had this experience, whether you noticed it or not.

Imagine your life as a garden. Every thought, every action, every experience is like a seed planted in that garden. If we are foolish, we will flood our gardens with sexual actions, shallow thoughts and harmful substances without thinking of the kinda fruit (consequences) that these seeds will bring forth. Women (and Men) are the same way. If you constantly act like her only purpose for you is physical, she will begin to think that her value is based upon her sexuality. After that, she will only focus on developing that area of her being. Same goes for Black Men: we have been told too often that our only purpose is athletic, sexual, musical, or that of a criminal. Is it any wonder that many males don’t have the self-esteem to aspire to better things?

We must show our women that we value their intellectual, spiritual and social selves, as well as their sexuality. Once we collectively show that we value more than eye candy, then our culture will promote the values that will transform all of us into balanced, complete beings. Peace.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. tiffy4love says:

    Love this. Very true. It’s a real problem because at a young age, both men and women fall into these physical categories where they only value what they can give sexually instead of mentally. For a lot of men, it takes time before they can finally view women in the right light. But for some women, it may be too late because of how tainted they are from all the bad relationships.

  2. I wish you could teach some men where I live here that. Very inspirational and rings true. I also think that we live in a world that revolves around sexuality and sexualization of now both men and women that we are moving away from relating to each other from an emotional/spiritual level to only a physical level. It changes how men and women see each other. The media also bombards us with this way of thinking. But in the end, it is true that we have the ability to change the way people perceive themselves by having standards that we go by. If we live by a standard then people we treat you according to that standard, the question is which standard do we follow? A worldly one or a Godly one?

    1. Jontae Grace says:

      Thats a good question Queen. I would say a worldly one for the simple reason that not all people follow a religion. But most of our morals are based on the commands of God anyway so it would serve the same purpose. Somehow someway we are going to have to take back control of our communities and our perceptions of one another. The best way to do it (since we dont own the media) is on a one-on-one basis: That is, treating one another with respect as human beings and as Queens and Kings. Slowly but surely it will catch on. We just have to keep at it.

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